The Ugly Side of Love

So I'm about a week into this examination of love and it's been occupying my mind as I go about my day. It's amazing how quickly I realize that to love according to the definition (that I laid out in the last post) I'd have to be a saint.... and disappointing to realize how easy it is to fail at doing it well. All the more reason to pull the proverbial wool from covering my eyes and keep working and learning, working and learning....If the most important thing to God is LOVE, than a LOT is at stake!


So far I have been pondering the following observations I have made about how the way I was loved growing up has affected my adult struggles with love:


1. The way I express love or act out of love depends on whom I am directing that love towards. (For example, a child or a nice person is easy to be loving with but a emotionally closed person is hard to show love to..... not for lack of desire but because they don't seem easily accepting of open-ness).


2. It is completely impossible to live up to the biblical definition of love at all times with everyone in your life. Thank the Lord for God's forgiveness and the HOPE we find in His unconditional love.


3. We use our love as leverage (if you love me, you will...) and we withhold love to punish or to make a point (you didn't do this so I won't do that). With children, we may choose to react in anger instead of LOVE, which instills fear instead of forgiveness and trust. And then we may miss out on a potential 'teaching opportunity' in the name of power of authority. Isn't that sad?


So.... Love is a loaded topic! And I will continue my quest .....and with that I will leave you with two challenges:


1. If you don't already, the next time you discipline your children explain to them that you do it to help them learn and because you love them. Always say "I Love You!" - all day, throughout the day. They need it and they love it, whether they say so or not.


2. The next time you feel the inclination to with-hold or react in an unloving way towards your spouse/loved one, choose the opposite, lay down your pride, and choose the opposite. Don't try to 'teach a lesson." You will be blessed by it.